I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
