dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just invented taco cereal.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
