chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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