Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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