How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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