There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
