Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
