Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
