it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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