You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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