Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
