I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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