i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
