hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
