I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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