if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
