Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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