its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize