You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
