Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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