What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
