quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
