haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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