The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
