everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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