I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
