That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
