jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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