I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
