Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize