I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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