I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this will be a night to untag.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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