Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
