I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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