he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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