You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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