Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
