Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
