I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize