how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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