everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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