I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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