my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
