Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize