Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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