Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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