I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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