the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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