Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
