So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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