this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
