ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
