A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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