gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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