Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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