Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
