you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
