Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
