let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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