My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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