just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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