I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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