Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
