What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ttyl tear gas
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
