ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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